What do we do when we are hurt?
We are sad. We are angry. We are upset. We hurt back. We internalize the hurt and hurt ourselves more. We do it all but admit we’re hurt.
We would expect them to magically ‘know’ and apologize
We would put on our shining “You can’t touch me” armor
We would continue with business as usual, like nothing ever happened
We would do it all but call Time-out saying “let’s talk!”
People seldom wake up in the morning and make a vow in bed “I will hurt him/ her today” #AssumeBestIntent
Most of the time, we perceive it as intentional.
And so we refuse to call out a thoughtless, careless, insensitive action.
We think we are brave in taking the hurt.
We Are Brave if we dare to call out the hurt.
If we can say “My feelings are hurt”
If we can say “I was offended by what you said yesterday in the meeting. I do not feel safe.”
Being brave is baring our heart.
Being brave is being vulnerable.
Matching emotion for emotion makes a workplace go blind. If possible, handle the hurt before moving on. If you have to retaliate, do so by being kind. To yourself and others.
Now Reading: Brene.B’s Atlas of the Heart